blogness

Dames en Heren—
Normally I begin my updates with a hello, hope all are doing well, sorry I haven’t corresponded for a while, etc. Forget it. This time the only thought running thru my mind is holy cow… WHAT in the world just happened?!

For the past seven months I have been plotting, planning, dreaming and at times hanging on by what feels like a single fraying thread. It has been amazing and horrifying all rolled into one. Since I last left you I was writing from a coffeeshop here in St. Louis preparing my portfolio for severe scrutiny. Well, after countless sleep deprived nights and moments of total joy as well as frustration I finished last February. At first I was convinced my portfolio was dreadful but as the days past and the schools and my peers responded I began to see it in a different light. Actually, not bad at all especially given the timeframe. Humpf. Who knew?!

Anywhos, since February I embarked on a world wind tour, couch surfing my way across the globe. Utilizing my sister’s and her mister’s apartment in Brooklyn as my hub, I spent a few weeks in Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Rochester, Amsterdam and of course NYC. It was glorious and overwhelming. There were many high points such as: the fabulous houseparty my California crew threw for me; hour long and very festive dinners with Uncle Winn, Bob, mom and many fine wines; an unbelievable Queensday made great by Dave’s hospitality and kindness; and a particularly super special afternoon with Jenny and Gregory complete with a walk across the Brooklyn bridge. Yet even with the superb company I’ve kept in several beautiful settings my usual sunny demeanor has not remained wholly intact. The most succinct way of putting it is I have not been at my best for quite a while now.

I’ve tried rationalizing with my emotions upon many occasions these past few months. I can vividly recall riding my bike along the canals to Dave’s apartment reasoning how can I be down in such a lovely place? I am so lucky and so privileged. What a waste it is to be blue given such opportunity for experimentation in life. Cheer up Dylan, walk it off, I told myself. To some extent the rational worked. More often than not, though, I just simply could not shake these overwhelmingly dark feelings of detachment, instability, loneliness and uncertainty.

Moreover, several ghastly dates, a strange flu, the death of Chippie (Dave’s beyond sweet kitty), the acute stress of preparing for my interviews and the stinky bomb that was my Design Academy Eindhoven interview further darkened my usually bright outlook. I fully enjoy being a travel whore yet after abruptly uprooting myself from California last year and not having one iota of solidity in work, home or love the glory is somewhat pale. I was not meant to be a nomad in a tribe of one. This aspiring lovechild of Bob Villa and Martha Stewart is ready to set up camp, hang up some clothes, meet and greet, work like a madman and embark upon some semblance of a routine that is only then worthy of fabulous vaca disruption.

Well, today the news officially hit me. Head on.

The acceptances and rejections have slowly floated my way and the possibilities have begun to whittle down an actual future reality. Last week there remained five possibilities in my mind: (1) go to San Jose State (2) go to Pratt Institute in Brooklyn (3) go to Rietveld Academie in Amsterdarn (4) scrap school completely and start randomly badgering US companies in the Netherlands to hire lil’ old enthusiastic me (5) throw in the towel and join the circus.

In most ways all of my plans make sense which is hugely convenient but only one may prevail.

Well, after months of limbo and a week of obsessively checking my e-mail I finally got a green light this beautiful May morning from my top pick, Rietveld Academie in Amsterdam! Ta Da! I am indeed accepted to an unbelievably prestigious academy in the city I adore and have lusted after for years for almost pennies by US standards of higher education tuition. I couldn’t be happier and I couldn’t be in more shock.

The deal is sealed. I will spend the next four years of my life living and studying Art and Design in Amsterdam. Unbelievable! It is frightening, exhilarating and downright unfathomable despite the fact that this exact reality has been my distant desire for many years now. Dreams and reality are bizarre forces and their intersections and missed connections even more strange.

I believe this program is the perfect fit for me. It will not be easy tho, I am already very sure of that but more than ready for the challenge. My game face is shyly starting to shine thru, my cracked mojo finally beginning to have a pulse again and the shock is fully all encompassing. Like I said before, what in the world just happened?

The academy and curriculum are phenomenal. It is beyond an honor to be accepted to Rietveld. I am ready to hit the ground running. Look out folks, this cornfed’s on a serious mission. I have no clue where it’ll lead… hopefully somewhere that’ll keep me afloat, inspired and productive and ideally in a position to give positive substance back to this insane world we call home.

Before I get to that point, however, there is much on the agenda.

Tomorrow several family members will arrive in town for a surprise mother’s day weekend. Hilarious. Mama’s gonna loose her nut. Then the day the fam leaves Jen will arrive for a few day tour of the St. Louie roots complete with an intro to my amazing old school buds. By this time next week, however, Jen and I will already be cruising cross country terrorizing the locals Romy and Michelle style. After that I will be blessed with a couple months of beach bliss with best friends in good old Santa Cruz where all sorts of debauchery will no doubt ensue. Juggling friends, family, working for my stellar old boss, other escapades and a summer school drawing class will no doubt make it all fly by far too quickly. Whomever said, ‘Life is short, eat dessert first’ knew what they were talking about. Time does indeed fly by too quickly and it feels so great to finally have some solid footing to sprint along side it, if only for a little while.

The past seven months have been insane in all aspects of the word. This delirious and often difficult journey was made brighter by all the sweet people I get the joy of calling friends and family. Hopefully all of your collective days are absurd enough to be interesting and real but calm enough to be grounding. I wish everyone big smiles and lovely laughter this delightful summer.

Anywho, nuff ramblings already. Everyone knows how I can chatter on til the cows come home.

I hope to see all of you before my departure across the pond near the end of the summer. My apologizes if I was recently in your town but was shy about announcing it or getting together. I just haven’t been myself during these limboesque dayz but that tide has turned and summer is upon us so please don’t be strangers! And, of course, if you’re ever in Amsterdam….

Big love to everyone.
Dylan

T H E N E W D E A L
well i did it. i have left the cruz that is santa! after 8 glorious years. phew. i’m still in pure shock. i charged cross country & am putzing around missouri for awhile. check out my blog for the real nitty gritty. my next odysessy will take me to school most likely… fingers crossed it’s abroad. i’m a’wandering and a’wondering. & my eyes are full of fervor. who knows what’s around the bend. certainly not me that’s fer sure….. U n d e r C o n s t r u c t i o n …………

T H E O L D D E A L
well, fiddle dee dee. what can i tell you about little old me?
i suppose i’m your average twenty something fella who’s fairly mella. no seriously folks- let’s talk some dirt.
i adore my fabulous friends/family. without them i’d be lost. i sometimes get in trouble for not calling & writing. on the surface this might make me seem flakey & flighty. but deep down i’m a busy bee who really can be a hearty Rock to your sweet Doris… or vice versa as i am oohh so ver-sa-tile.
i love suprising & making my family/friends laugh! i am a ham & chz- & have the video footage to prove it. i love to travel & dance. i am a dancing fiend. i love to veg but didn’t get the nickname "one more thing to do" for nuttin’. i miss my friends who don’t live nearby (!) and adore the color chartreuse. this year i want to swim in the ocean where it is hot! 2007 it’s gonna happen. really! i’m a transsexual (i love how charged that word is, don’t you?), trannie &/or transster and relish being out & proud. can ya dig? i am politically offended at the state of our nation & try to make a difference- or addition as the case may be- to this spectactular sphere we like to call earth, everyday. i love to tell & hear stories, especially funny ones. i uttered few words in high school, now i talk a mile a minute. i like to write. above & beyond i heartfeelings my friends/family. ya’ll define my existance. thus far, i’d say we’re doing fan-fuckin-tastic. good lord we’re great.

Hi all-

Below is a letter I wrote a couple nights ago but then had problems sending. Enjoy. Yesterday was mellow. Mom and I went out for a nice dinner for my birthday and came home to got cozy. It was a fairly uneventful day but definitely a nice one! Thank you all for all the sweet phone calls and e-mails. Happy holidays and New Year! I hope everyone including your family and friends will have a festive, safe and joyful end to 2006. Love and miss you.

Love,

Dylan

December 13^th, 2006

Hello there all you delightful individuals,

I hope all are staying warm, dry, happy and healthy these cozy winter days! Dylan here, just wanting to send everybody kindhearted wishes for a lovely holiday season and subject you to yet even more of my busybee ramblings/updates. I’m writing these words to all you good folks across the globe from a busy little coffee shop in St. Louis, Missouri. At this point I should probably be paying the owners rent as it has become my second home as of lately.

It is the eve of my 28^th natal day. Another year has passed and a new one approaches. Fortunately, I am as cool as a cucumber and grinning from ear to ear. I could be stressing about the current limbo state of my life or becoming blue with visions of my fading youth yet somehow nothing could be further from the truth.

Since leaving California in early October my days here in Missouri have been calm yet crazy and uber challenging. Spending massive amounts of time alone trying to hardcore self-motivate and not dawdle is not always an easy feat for a highly social person who loves to live in the chaos of deadlines and details.

My school applications and portfolio compilings have been very slow but steady. My nocturnal tendencies and procrastinating ways worry me that I will not accomplish all that I need to but alas, I am somehow confident I will deliver strong results by the ever approaching deadlines. I tend to work better under pressure?! With one a half months left before sending off these possible keys to my next few years I am anxious, fearful and exhilarated. Indeed, the last couple of weeks have proven to be especially difficult. My moods have been lower than I’m accustom to but I’ve tried to cope, focus and take everything bit by bit. I attribute my surprisingly intact sanity to the hour long walks Harold and I take together every afternoon. Plus it helps that ma’s proven to be an amusing, delightful and not to mention clean roommate as well!

Luckily the tide of my discouragement has shifted as of this past week. After firmly deciding I will return to California to work for the summer- woo hoo- plus securing my plane tickets for my spring travels and couch surfing escapades I am finally able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Hooray!

My plan was always first to simply leave Santa Cruz in order to shake my life up, make some necessary adjustments, leave opportunity for newness and gain perspective. With all of those wheels in motion I have but only a couple months left here where I must buckle down to still prepare for next fall. Then the most logical step before finding stable work and saving cash is to have as much traveling fun as I can afford and fingers crossed interview at potential academies in the Netherlands.

The subsequent phase of my plan has for some time remained fuzzy. I could hardly envision life not as I had known it the past eight years so I knew I needed to first make those initial strides and then strategize. However, after my stint of unemployment and jet-setting adventures I always knew the next movement would be geared towards securing employment, saving some cash and enjoying my free time before embarking upon intense education. I had some inklings as to how I might spend the rest of the year before school: work on a fishing boat in Alaska, secure a job on a gay cruise ship, stay in Missouri to find a drafting/design position or maybe even return to California and spend the summer Santa Cruz Style. After realizing I will have only three and a half months to work after traveling but before schooling, obtaining employment out of the ordinary in a strange place seemed unfeasible and unappealing.

Summers in St. Louis are beyond brutally hot and although I’ve had and will continue to have in the next few weeks excellent times with both my mom and old school friends, a summer in California is impossible for me to resist. Visions of riding my bike on West Cliff, hiking new local parks I discovered last year, beach bonfires, Pride, fifty cent ticket nights at the Boardwalk, camping in the lower Sierras, city trips to visit Pa and Anna, potentially working for my previous and most favorite employer and hanging with tons of great folks sounds like a perfect summer to me. And… after finally laying the groundwork to immerse myself into an exciting new field of work through intensive studying come fall time I can truly enjoy a carefree summer without feeling stagnant and directionless as I have in the past in small town, expensive Santa Cruz. Unbelievable! Is everything really coming together or did I miss something here?

So believe it or not dreaming, planning, and working and playing hard truly can produce desired results… or so it seems thus far. Fingers crossed. I also know that much of my pleasure and happiness in life occurs as a result of both luck and privilege. For all of it I am whole-heartedly grateful. I am especially thankful to have such people in my life as all of you sitting here reading these ramblings from every extra adverb to descriptive adjective.

I truly hope the end of the year and subsequent holidays are super stress-free and festive for all. I look forward to seeing all of you fabulous people for more brilliant adventures in 2007. Many of you I will see in the next few months. Fantastic. I can’t wait. Be happy, healthy and not a stranger! Lots of big love from the Heartland. Happy holidays and NewYear.

Merrily,

Dylan

i am going insane… is it me or am i now fluent in deranged and the absurd? i think maybe.

so, i’m trying to create a portfolio that should take a normal person six months or longer… i’m shooting to do it in six little weeks and boy are they a freakin’ flyin’. it is literally freezing here and i’ve was booted off craigslist for being ‘inappropriate’ my first week back in ‘the lou’, aka st. louie, misery. what??? i suppose trannys aren’t quite the new black here as they are back in the bay. oh well, whoa is me. no time for curious incounters anyway. my eye be on the prize.

good news is… this mama’s gonna be done with all the school apps by february 1st, travelling in the springtime, living back in the bay area for the summer- hot dang!!! and then headed for an undisclosed location come fall time. so, the current insanity is well worth it indeed. or so i keep telling myself.

i wonder if i’ll be able to remember how to properly interact socially that is by the time i return from my self-imposed sabbatical. if not that might prove to be rather interesting. middle school flashbacks start to blur my vision……..whoa.

–hang on a minute… had to change into my wool socks, toes are icesickles–

i mean, i am not wholly alone here. i do hang with ma, an occasional high school bud and then of course there is dear old crazy as a puppy but twelve year old harold. good lord this dog is nuts but sweet as molasses is thick.

mr. harold is my saviour. i already dread the moment i pack up my car next may, head west and have to excommunicate the sweet fella from my daily life. poor baby. i love him so.

ya. so other than this i am spending faaaaar too many hours to be left to my own devices. i suppose i should just roll with the crazies tho as i do per usual. it always brings one somewhere…. right?!

okey dokey, onward and upward. time to sketch or something like that. can ya dig? hope you all fine mother fuckers are fabulous, soaking up that sunshine. punks. love you.

dyl-um

Hello my dear old pals,

Well, it is yet again that moment of the year. The time I once again desperately try to catch up with you all and bid everyone warm wishes from whatever point in life I am currently calling Today. As I write to you on this lazy Sunday afternoon I am cozy and tidy back in the warmth of my ma’s little house in St. Louie. That’s right, I have returned to my midwestern, cornfed roots, if only temporarily.

After spending eight glorious years in Santa Cruz I decided about a year ago it was time for me to make some major change in life. Yes, life in Santa Cruz is more beautiful than words can express. My discovery of running West Cliff at sunset this past year truly brought the wonderous colors of that funny little town into focus. I miss being able to bike to work and being employed by the nicest and noblest boss I’ve ever known. I find myself insessently day dreaming of my life Santa Cruz style: those foggy morning beach trips with Vern and three unbelievably adorable dogs; delectable lunch dates pared with a sundry of errands while cruising with Jen; late night classic movie marathons with Dexter and Beebo, staying up far past our bedtimes but holding out as those magical moments of Doris just don’t stop. I long for it all and miss every wonderful person two time zones ago that have for so many years now helped me be the sunny person I love to be.

Since I last sent a massive update to you all I returned from the Netherlands from my month long visit in January. I readjusted to life in Santa Cruz and proceeded to enjoy a completely charming past nine months. There were a few trips to the city, ballgames, countless beach moments, my first trip to Disneyland for Dexter’s birthday, excellent Game Nites, lots of fabo dinner dates, an excursion to Bakersfield and San Luis Obisbo, a visit from Dave, Prides, a road trip to Vegas with Anna, camping in the lower Sierras, a return trip to Amsterdam to check out schools and visit with Dave and a hodgepodge of merry and gay times simply good old homestyle.

So, after eight mellow and delightful years in such a picturesque place why in the world would I spend week upon week consoildating my posessions, deconstructing the snug and familiar homebase I worked so hard to create and, most significantly, abandon both having my dad and sister be only a beautiful hours drive along the coastline away and a daily life teeming with some of the best friends I’ve ever known? That my friends is a very, very good question. However, as most everyone who dealt with me on the road trip out East told me, I can always go back. Word.

I suppose I came to the conclusion about a year ago that Santa Cruz is a small town and we live in a big world. I have been unpresidently lucky and privileged in life to see so many inspiring places, both near and far, and to have experienced so much newness. When it comes down to it, I therefore moved out of selfishness, a desire to take new risks and explore the foreign. I need to take these wonderous opportunities I’ve been offered in life and do something with them. I figure now is my moment in time for such drastic change. I am at a pivotal point in regards to work, I have no children or relationship rooting me to one place. I simply yet challengingly have to distance myself from treasured friends and family who I have no doubt will make room for me in their futures once the dust eventually begins to settle.

So, about three weeks ago I packed up my baggage, sadness, shock and staggering excitment into my silver Honda and left Santa Cruz. My bummed yet understanding friends and family showed their love for me as I pulled out the driveway by telling me how much they hated me but the emotion on their faces still evident behind obese sunglasses left no doubt in my mind how difficult change can be. Fortunately, Veronica rode shot gun with me while Nathan and the dogs caravanned all the way to Bakersfield so I in a sense still had some semblence of the sweetness of Santa Cruz with me even after crossing the county line. Twenty-four hours in Bakersfield with Vern’s family and her mother’s filling and delectable Mexican food added some comfort. Yet, as the hours dwindled I once again had to face another horribly tender farewell.

With three hundred miles ahead of me until Vegas I drove fast and alleviated my low spirits remembering I know change is always good for me even when it seems bad. Plus, picturing a fabulous future with me living in cosmopolitan San Francisco, just a modest and jaw dropping drive from sleepy Santa Cruz eased my blues as well. I made it to Vegas by early evening and found my brother’s condo conveniently in record speed. I stayed with Andrew and his wife Jenn for two nights. Their company and the distractions of Sin City reinvigorated and reminded me why I went to all the trouble of uprooting myself to begin with. However, within forty hours after arriving in Vegas I was once again having to say a difficult goodbye and climb back into my car brimming with both artifacts of my past and desired tools for the future. With 1,600 miles to drive I had all the time in the world to think. My plan had always been to leave California and use the road trip to become excited, think of the future and begin my new journey. The only problem was however I didn’t realize how devastated I would be because my now old reality was gone, or perhaps more accurately, drastically changed forever. Somehow despite all of my careful planning and coordinating I had neglected to pencil in the intense sadness and feelings of loss I felt while I flew on down the freeway. My fun, wild and single road trip I had schemed transformed into a long, emotional and desperate drive to get to my mom’s house as quick as the freeway could take me.

From Vegas I drove 573 miles and made it to Albuquerque just after sunset. The trip was difficult but gorgeous. We live in a fasinatingly strange country. It is huge. It is politically frightening. Yet it is truly majestic. I think the red rocks of New Mexico were my most favored backdrop. I only hope to visit those places again sometime in the future armed with more time, a more cheerful mental state and preferably a friend or two. Beautiful. Unfortunately, about ten minutes outside of Alburquerque I got in stop and go traffic as there had been a minor accident. After sluggishly wading through the traffic and picking a exit midway through the city I tore myself off the driver’s seat and got cozy in a hotel for the night. Treating myself to a shower, room service and bad television I vegged out in awe how drastic change can make you feel. Eventually sleep ensued and I was more than happy to comply.

On my own in a foreign state and feeling rather raw from weeding myself out of California I tried to normalize the trip as much as possible. Shower. Breakfast. Coffee. Gas. The route from Albuquerque to St. Louis was a long haul but I was anxious to get to the next step. The thought of being back at my mom’s with her and her sweet dog Harold warmed my shakey emotions. I peeled out of Alburquerque and watched the country go by. Numerous Native American tchotchke shops, the largest cross in the Western hemisphere and unbelievable vistas beconded me to stop but to no avail. Through New Mexico, Texas and Oklahoma I made great time. When I reached Tulsa I only had 395 miles to St. Louis but I had been driving all day, racking up 650 miles. Figuring sleepy night driving wasn’t the greatest plan I found a cheap motel on the outskirts of Tulsa thankfully with cable television including Bravo so I could get my weekly fix of my only steady tv show Project Runway. After dinner and Runway I crashed.

The last day of my road trip was rather quick which was steller as I was anxious to get there already. I flew into Missouri and continued to watch the landscape transform. The rushing deep earth red slopes of eastern Oklahoma and southern Missouri gave way to the ample rolling hills of autumn colored tree tops I remember from my youth. The freeway cutting clear through the limestone rock of the Upper Ozarks. These were how I knew mountains as a small child. That was of course before my eyes laid upon the Rockies, the Sierras and the Alps and my cornfed references as to what constitutes a mountain were corrected. Floating amid the tree tops I became antsy and fully ready to arrive. Just before sunset I meandered through St. Louis county rush hour and happily arrived into the comfort of my mom’s place. One step of the odyessy fulfilled, immeasurable strides still unfinished, shapeless, open and under construction.

So, for the past couple of weeks I have begun shaping my next few moves. Thankfully I have fully recovered from the exhaustion of the road trip. After leaving California I felt similar emotions as one does after breaking up with someone, except in this instance I didn’t feel it just around one person but more like six or seven people. I have since mended those sentiments and my feet are finally beginning to touch the ground. Simultanteously I have been resolving those lovely moments of thinking… geez, I’m 27 and living at home with my ma…. Eeeek. As much as I love my mom and Harold I had to fight off those sentiments of feeling like a total loser. Fortunately, for everyone involved I’m over that, having a great time with ma and now in full project mode.

What kind of project mode you might be asking yourself? Well, the latest version of the plan is as follows: I am applying to design schools for next fall both in the States and in the Netherlands. All of my applications are due by February 1st. If it was just a matter of essays it might not be quite so time consuming but no, over-ambitious little me is attempting to create a mother of a portfolio which all of the schools require. Right now I am working on five pieces simultaneously. I hope to have fifteen in the portfolio total. Phew! So life is busy busy busy even though I’m not working and I’ve yet to attempt a social life which indeed could exist for me if I wanted. I have perhaps a dozen or so friends still in the area who would be puzzled if they knew I was here already and have yet to made contact. Whoops. NOTE: For all you fabulous St. Louie folks be assured I’m finally coming out of hiding and would love nothing more than to catch up with you witty ones now that I am adjusted, chipper and normal as I get. Grin.

Upon arrival in the Midwest I froze like a deer in headlight not only as a result of the hugely drastic changes that had occured for me but also because of the very lengthy realities of the application process. All I could see was the ever intimidating P-O-R-T-F-O-L-I-O. However, after a few weeks of organizing, projecting, etc. I am fairly confident I can pull this off. Fairly. The programs I am applying to are in industrial design. After working in architecture for two years I weighed in on what I enjoyed about the profession and what I found to be lacking. Industrial design is a field that integrates art, psychology, ergonomics, enviromentalism, engineering and techology. I believe I could progress and adore the industry quite well. My skills and passion match what is required quite well with one exception. I draw like a child. Fortunately however I have been blessed by a couple suggestions to acquire the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. It is a phenomenal read and convincing me that I just might not only pull these admission deadlines off after all but I can also immensely develop my sketching skills. Go figure. So, here I sit in this 12×12 room concocting the future and assuring myself that there is in fact yet another uncertain adventure around the corner for me.

After completing my applications I will simply be waiting to see where the chips fall. I am hoping to know where I am headed this fall by May. The months from February through August remain fuzzy. I am certain I will be looking for work. Perhaps in Missouri. Maybe in California. Imaginably in the Netherlands. Only time will tell. No doubt I will be back to California for a visit next spring. I was sorry I was not able to say goodbye to everybody in Santa Cruz before leaving. My departure was hectic despite all of my pre-planning. So to those of you who I never got to see right before leaving have no fear. I am forever rooted to the Bay Area, a complete travel slut and a moderately decent pen pal. And to those of you who were around for my exodus, thank you! The thanksgiving dinner was so sweet and quite the surprise. I love surprises and never get got! but ya’ll made me jump. Seriously. Thank you to all who contributed. Also, our last minute Game Night wholly reinforced for me how many absolutely great souls I have the delight of knowing. So thank you good folks in California for helping make my years in Santa Cruz freaking phenonmenal. I miss you all!

And to the rest of you I hope our paths will cross again real soon. Hopefully everyone is swell, happy and getting cozy for the approaching winter. Drop a line if you get a chance, if not, no worries. I know how crazy the realities of daily life seem to just flood the time away. Please remember though that despite the fact that we might not converse much these days I think of you all often and hope everyone is having a productive, healthy and happy year. Anyway, not much else new. It is cold here some days, warmer others. I am trying to prepare myself for the first non-Californian winter I’ve experienced in a long time. It should be amusing. So there’s the update. That’s all for now. Until next time.

Lots of Love from the Heartland!

Dylan

Zaterdag, Februari 18th, 2006

Tip for the day: Once you get behind on your travel log, don’t look back, just keep trekkin.

So, I am indeed writing these ramblings to you all from my old cozy room in quiet

Santa Cruz

on a chilly and still Saturday evening. I returned to the States nearly twenty days ago and have been slowing trying to wedge myself back into my

California

groove. I am still suffering from culture shock but with the spring approaching I will no doubt find my equilibrium soon.

My travel blog seemed to fizzle out near the end of my trip. However, this was not the result of lack of inspiration, simply a product of limited timing. After being in

Amsterdam

for only one week I already felt my trip slipping away from me. With each passing day, sitting in front of a computer screen seemed less and less desirable despite how much I enjoy the process of documentation. So with this e-mail you all receive the bits and pieces of my remaining tales in my favorite city. The random notes I noted, however, do not do my experience justice.

This trip to

Amsterdam

fully revived, awakened and inspired me.

In only one short month I progressed a great deal towards my ultimate goal of moving to the

Netherlands

. I made some great friends as well as one fantastic ‘special’ friend. I am already plotting my return for the month of August and simply putting one foot in front of the other to see where I end up wandering.

I have decided to simplify my life and prepare for an international move. Working in the

Netherlands

in not an easy feat but perhaps if there is such a strong will, there will be a way. Since returning to

Santa Cruz

I have thrown myself into work and attempting to secure more of the solitude I enjoy while being abroad. I am doing a great deal of cleaning and purging old and unnecessary belongings which always makes me a happier camper.

I am looking forward to a bright and glorious spring and summer. Runs on West Cliff, ballgames, BBQs with my pals, pride festivities, Dave’s visit in May, swimming, perhaps a long overdue trip to

Disneyland

, August in

Amsterdam

and maybe a house party or two will no doubt make 2006 wiz by in an instant. 

Epitomizing my move towards simplicity I shall end my blog here. The sometimes long-winded, tangential, Midwestern Dyl-um is still alive and well. I am simply in minimalist mode to make room for more brilliant tales and transforming adventures. 

I trust you all are happy, healthy and humorous these short although now longer end of the winter days. By all means drop a line sometime and don’t be a stranger… and please don’t be offended if I am bit of one! I’m simply in buckle down mode… it’s not that I don’t adore each and every one of you!

Tot gauw,

Dylan

Donderdag, Januari 12th, 2006

Tip for the day: Do not attempt to try and ride near the tram tracks with your bicycle in the rain. Big mistake! As usual I was following a local’s lead today on my way home, this time a sixty or seventy-year old gentleman. He veered around a truck into the middle of the road so what did I do, figured I should opt for the same course. Next thing you know I’m on the pavement. Joyous.

I’m having dreams about biking. I had one the other evening right as I was falling asleep where I was navigating the pavement and the wet curb, a sticky situation I’ve been tackling these first few school days. I jolted back in my dream so as to avoid the curb and actually jolted in my bed, waking myself up. Hilarious. Although I do prefer these and other such visions in Dutch to the hellish Starbucks and Burrito Max dreams I use to have when I first started working as said establishments. Moreover, I’m already getting more of an expert on my wheels, or so I like to think.

Anyway, back from Universiteit and going to study for a while. Just finished my first Turkish pizza since being here. Boy, I wish we had those back in

Santa Cruz

. Lekker! I have to get my bike light fixed before cruising over to Dave’s. Apparently the police can charge you with a forty Euro fine for not having proper lights. I think I knocked the mechanism out of place or something because it use to work and now it don’t. So study, bike shop, dinner at Dave’s and then perhaps some late night tooling around the city. The shops stay open until

21:00

on Donderdag across the country.  I am in desperate need of an English/Nederlands  dictionary. Anywho, that’s the word as I know it so far. Still a little sniffly. School rocks. I think my teacher has taken a liking to me and am thoroughly enjoyed the international atmosphere. More later.

Dave cooked dinner for me tonight. He made homemade tomato soup and witlof (chicory) with walnuts, cheese and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. Literally the first serious home cooked meal since I’ve been here. Witlof is a very traditional dish here. The Dutch are known for warm, hearty and simple food. The more exotic and complicated foods you find here are from foreign countries. For dessert he made a raspberry and cream dish which was to die for.

So after our meal and some digestion time the two of us took to the streets towards the heart of the city. Dave lives about a ten minute walk from my house and a ten minute walk to the city center. On Thursdays the shops all stay open until 21.00. Seeing as I still needed a dictionary we headed towards the main shopping street. We checked a bunch of different stores trying to find the best deal. Eventually, I scored myself a fine key to the Dutch language. We walked a great deal despite the cold but eventually had to call it quits and crash.

Vrijdag, Januari 13th, 2006

Tip of the day: Homemade rice pudding rocks! Today I had a very lesuirely day. Biked to school. Learned more Dutch. Met Dave for a snack at a funky café called Bazaar on the Albert Cuyp Market. Went shopping at Albert Cuyp for dinner that night. Learned how to make homemade creamed pasta sauce with tortalinni and homemade rice pudding. Watched part of ‘Daddy Little Dividend’ with Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor. And crashed. A great day indeed: beautiful weather, interesting sites, great company and delightful grub.

Zaterdag, Januari 14th, 2006

Tip for the day: Get outside before the sunrises in winter in

Amsterdam

. Today I didn’t have school. But I was up bright and early so I headed for Centraal Station to make a couple phone calls. On my way I stopped for some photos.

Amsterdam

in the early morning during the winter months is breathtaking if you have the strength to stop a minute in the cold and look around. Armed with mittens, scarves and gloves I fortunately did this gorgeous dawn. After purchasing a couple phone cards I eventually I got thru to Jen, Dexter, Nate and Vern. It was nearly

one am

their time and they were out partying in

San Francisco

. E-mail is great but it sure is nice to hear peoples voices for real. After running out of phone cards I meandered towards the shopping street for some souveniors. Joe and I stopped for a few photo ops. Figuring that many of my jeans no longer fit I decided I would splurge and buy a fabulous pair of eurofag jeans. After many attempts I finally found a couple delightful pairs. Securing a hearty stash of souvenirs I headed back towards my neighborhood. This time I took the Albert Cuyp, having the time to wander down the market, check out more closely the wealth of goodies just a few blocks from my place and score some necessities for the dinner I am cooking for Dave tomorrow night. Fortunately I somehow remembered I had to do it today as many if not most shops are closed on Sunday. Going home I unloaded my junk and headed to Albet Heijn for last minute supplies for dinner. Still slightly under the weather I ate, emailed and crashed early.

Zondag, Januari 15th, 2006

Tip of the day: Attaining a work permit in the

Netherlands

is a really freakin’, nearly impossible feat… nearly. This was definitely a slow Zonderdag for me. After a beautiful but full day out yesterday in the cold air I wasn’t in top condition waking up this morning. So I decided to stay in and catch up with school work, e-mails, expatriot research and general at home debauchery.

The day went by quickly and by sunset I was in the kitchen making portabella mushrooms, garlic mashed potatoes, salad for Dave and myself.

PORTABELLA MUSHROOMS

Marinade:
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
2 T Worchestershire Sauce
1/4 tsp. liquid smoke
3 minced garlic cloves
1/4 tsp. black pepper
2 large portabella mushroom caps
Directions:

Combine all marinade ingredients together. Place each mushroom in a shallow bowl, gill side up. Pour 1/2 of the marinade over each mushroom, pouring a little in the bottom of the bowl first, to wet the upside down cap, and the remainer into the upturned cap. Marinate for 5-10 minutes. Do not marinate longer as the mushrooms will absorb too much marinade.

Grill mushrooms on a wood or charcoal fire, or in a hot skillet on the stovetop, or under a broiler. 2-3 minutes per side will usually do, or until the mushrooms are browned and tender. This recipe for Garlic Mashed Potatoes serves 2.

http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/main/veg/portabellaburger.html

GARLIC MASHED POTATOES

Ingredients:

6 medium Potatoes — Cubed

1 1/2 cup Milk

3 tablespoons Butter

4 cloves Garlic — minced

Salt And Pepper — to taste

Directions:

In large saucepan cook potatoes in 2 inches boiling water, covered, about 10 minutes until tender; drain thoroughly. Mash potatoes with electric hand mixer. Place milk, butter and garlic in small saucepan; set over medium-low heat and simmer until heated through, beat into potatoes until mixed and fluffy. Mix in additional milk, if necessary, to reach desired consistency. Season with salt and pepper.

This recipe for Garlic Mashed Potatoes serves 4.

http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/338/Garlic_Mashed_Potatoes3793.shtml

The meal turned out well. It is funny trying to cook here during the winter. I’ve realized most of the food I make is not cold weather food. Regardless, the grub was great as was the company.

Maandag, Januari 16th, 2006

Tip for the day: Skule. Home. Study. Dave’s for dinner (eggs & paprika). Cocktail hour at Arc (beautiful gay bar on the main gay drag that is new since my last visit).

Dinsdag, Januari 17th,  2006

Tip for the day: Skule. Study. Dinner @ Lin’s (Dave’s hilarious friend from the

UK

).

Woesdag, Januari 18th, 2006

Tip for the day: Wake up. Muesli met koffie. Concertgebouwen met Ty & Chris. Bought phone. Home. Emails, etc. Schwarma dinner.

Donderdag, Januari 19th, 2006

Tip for the day: Wake up, Skule, Home, Study, Den Haag to hang with Kate & Linda. Back to

Amsterdam

by 2am.

Vrijdag, Januari 20th, 2006

Tip for the day: Wake up. Skule. Home for studying. Market for salsa ingredients. Burrito making with Dave. Little

Britain

. Went for walk around the block. Koffie at big bldg. near Dave’s. Early bedtime.

Zaterdag, Januari 21st, 2006

Tip for the day: Wake up. Koffie & Muesli. Leave for

Petra

’s. Ferry ride to Noord. Met

Petra

&

Charlotte

. Get Car. Tour area. Marken, Volendam,

Edam

. Gloves in Volendam. Walks in Marken & Edam. Chocolade melk met appel taart in ? Return to

Petra

’s. Ferry ride back. Dave’s place. Mooi nacht. Lekker slappen.

Zondag, Januari 22nd, 2006

Tip for the day: Slept in. Froot smoothie and koffie from Dave. TV and loungeing. Shower. Hema for kaas sandwich. Met old acquaintance of Dave’s. Ice cream, one flavour, delicious. Shop for long underwear for me. Shop for shoelaces for Dave. Cuckoo’s Nest for beer. The Web for beer another. Back to Dave’s with detour to grab Hitchhikker’s guide to the Galaxy & Surnamese food.

Maandag, Januari 23rd, 2006

Tip for the day:  Left Dave’s. Skule. Harring Broodje. Home. E-mails. Tidy mo. Market. Home. Dinner… microwaved lasanya. Studies. Dave stopped by for thee.

Dinsdag, Januari 24th, 2006

Tip for the day:  Wake up. Skule. Biked home. Albert Cuyp. Cooked dinner for Dave at my place… portabella mushrooms, peppers, onion, eggplant on bread with melted cheese. Walked to Dave’s. Finished movie from before.

Woesdag, Januari 25th, 2006

Tip for the day: Woke up at

6:30

. E-mails. Laundry. Met up with Ty and Chris from class. Concertgebowen.  Biked home. Blogged. Dinner with Dave & Petra & her housemate Charlotte in the North. Back to Dave’s.

Donderdag, Januari 26th, 2006

Tip for the day:

Vrijdag, Januari 27th, 2006

Tip for the day: Dinner at Mary Sue’s (ma’s friend) in

Rotterdam

18.00 uur. Fantastic lady with very sweet husband, Renee. He works for the city of

Rotterdam

in the planning department in AutoCAD! Hoping to visit his office upon returning in August.

Zaterdag, Januari 28th,  2006

Tip for the day:

Zondag, Januari 29th, 2006

Tip for the day:

Maandag, Januari 30th, 2006

Tip for the day

Dinsdag, Januari 31st, 2006

Tip for the day:  Get yer ass back here as quick as you can! Woke up @

6:30

. Koffie, cuddling and news in bed with Dave. Then shower while he made panckaken. Packed stuff up. Ate. Dressed. Prepared to leave. Schlepped junk to Metro. Very crowded. Got off at Amsterdam Zuid and boarded train to airport. Checked in. Had bags searched. Got rid of checked baggage. Went to Dave’s work. Had pictures taken out front. Met his work friends. Koffie. He took me to security. Said goodbye… actually tot ziens. Sad. Feeling like it will be strange for a while… my typical and expected culture shock will no doubt be even more difficult now. Man at passport check and at gate both sweet and encouraging when I expressed interest in a move here. A good omen perhaps? Booked it to gate with one stop for some real Heiniken. Boarded plane. Thinking of year to come and where it will take me and where I will take it. What a journey!

Hi folks-

Here’s what I know. Hope all are well and happy. Missing ya’ll and sending warm thought across the cold

Atlantic

!

I kinda took a break there for a couple days on writing, etc. I overloaded on the e-mailing my first few days here. But I’m back in action with a few tales to tell. Some of these might sound familiar if I’ve e-mailed you recently. Don’t be offended. I cut and pasted some of my e-mails into my travel blog/logs. No sense in taking the time to write stories twice when there’s an immense and stimulating world beyond our doorsteps. Happy reading and don’t be strangers.

Tot ziens,

Dylan

Saturday, January 7th, 2006

Have decided today to start writing in fragment and lists. Not enough time to write the novel I aspire to ramble on towards. This morning: e-mails, menemen, tidy-mo & off to explore. Aspirations: bike ride, museums perhaps, photos, warm hat, gifts, locate school, discover new junk, organize photos, paint town red. Epiphanies: sterrenmunt is licorice, ugg! not chamomile; want to learn html.

Left house via my new wheels. Bicycling in this city is not an easy feat. Follow the locals I figure or maybe not? Eventually I made my way to the Web, a gay leather bar Dexter and I frequented a few times last May. I figured I’d start the late afternoon off with a Heineken and then go do some window shopping, etc. The Web was empty. Bored and curious I went around the corner to Cuckoo’s Nest, another gay leather bar Dexter and I have fond memories of from last spring. Cuckoo’s Nest was far from empty. The place was warm, lively and inviting. Positioning myself on a barstool near the front, I sat and observed quietly drinking my beer longing for my friends back home to be with me. Happy to be out of both my apartment and the brisk air of the city streets I felt extremely content. Moreover, the hustle, bustle, laughter, and customary gay porn on several television screens across the bar suddenly made me feel at home. I just as easily could have been at Daddy’s in

San Francisco

. However, the only differences were I didn’t understand most of the conversation around me and moreover my fantastic pals weren’t there right by my side. Regardless, I sat and enjoyed the joyous ambiance. Ordering my last beer I decided I should probably head out for a while and pound the pavement before perhaps going out again in the late evening. This was of course Saturday night and most venues would no doubt be entertaining. Fortunately, from my place at the bar I had an interesting viewpoint from which to examine the clientele; the bartender was serving right next to me. So, I waited, sipped, smiled and quietly watched.

Then out of no where a gentleman came up to my left, ordered a drink and began speaking to me in Dutch. Awkwardly outing myself as a foreigner he then said in English, nodding, “Cheers” and with that asked if he could join me. We proceeded to ramble on to each other for a long while. His name is Dave and he gives specialized excursions around different parts of The Netherlands for tourists. We conversed a great deal about the city, architecture, culture, geography, etc. until we both finished our beers and he asked me if I wanted to go see his favorite bathroom in all of

Amsterdam

.

For those of you who have never been to this wondrous city let me tell you the design in general of everything from doorknobs to whole buildings is marvelous. Moreover, the bathrooms are often the greatest works of art. Living here before transition I was especially grateful for the bathroom designs because more often than not the stalls are not stalls per say but more accurately small enclosed closets, i.e. very friendly for timid trannies. So checking out this man’s favorite bathroom in all of

Amsterdam

slightly peeked my interest to say the least.

We crossed the Dam and headed slightly north. We ended up at a café on the northern outskirt of the Red Light District. The café was gorgeous and animated. Here we had een café and continued to ramble on with one another once again. After checking out the bathroom, it was indeed brilliant with glass and tile mosaics splashed across the floor, walls and ceiling, we left the café and headed out into the beautiful

Amsterdam

nighttime air. For the rest of the evening Dave and I flapped and enjoyed each others company. Less than one week in this country and I’ve already met a smart and interesting fellow excited to tool around the city with me. Somehow with the magic that unravels itself here before me on these extraordinary and ancient streets, I shouldn’t be surprised, yet every time, I am.

Sunday, January 8th, 2006

Waking up late- 9:00am- at least by my jet lag standards I was excited to have yet another full day before classes began. I ended up crashing at Dave’s the night before as we had spent the entire evening enjoying the city and each others company. So after lazing around for awhile, several rounds of coffee and being treated to a delicious mixture of fresh fruit, yogurt and muesli the two of us left his flat in search of a calm stroll around the city. We walked for a short time and eventually came upon Oosterpark. The park was big and quiet, despite the numerous people wandering around, running, etc. Dave pointed out the local birds and proceeded to go on about their origins. Perhaps it is his job to be knowledgeable of Dutch history and culture, regardless he continually proves to be interesting company. Eventually we approached a pond and ended up feeding the ducks and geese some stale bread. Breadless and near the exit to the park we continued on in the direction of the city center. Knowing I have an interest in architecture and furniture design Dave took us past and through some fascinating furniture stores. I also learned of where you find the cheapest and best tortellini in town. We additionally stopped in a few chocolate shops as he was looking for a special kind of chocolate that one can only find in the winter. Unfortunately despite our attempts we couldn’t locate any. After window shopping and walking we paused at a small shop for a kroket or croquette. Croquettes are deep fried snacks very popular in The Netherlands. 

“Since the croquette is basically a ragout fried in breadcrumbs, it is the ragout – and the meat with which it is made – which is the defining ingredient. Different sorts of meat are used, depending on the quality and desired flavour. The cheapest croquettes are made from horsemeat; a little better are pork croquettes; and the best are those made with beef. Often different meats are mixed; the quality of the croquette is then expressed in the percentage of a certain kind of meat it contains. To produce the ragout, a clear soup is drawn from hand-selected and weighed spices, a critical process. Separately a roux made out of butter and flour is created and together with the clear soup, the chopped meat and some gelatine, is steamed in a large kettle. After the mixture has cooled, a layer of breadcrumbs and eggwhite is added. The croquette is then deep-fried.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croquet_(food)

Kroketten /Croquettes

600 grams (1lb 5 oz) veal, beef, chicken, or turkey
salt and pepper
1 dl (1/2 cup) white wine
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 clove
2 bay leaves
piece of mace
2 sprigs parsley, finely chopped
lemon juice
3/4 tsp thyme
lemon peel
50 grams (2 oz) butter or margarine
40 grams (1.5 oz) flour
corn starch or gelatin
3 eggs
4 cups fine breadcrumbs
or Dutch rusks (beschuit)
oil to deep-fry
When opting for chicken or turkey meat, use ‘leftovers,’ in other words cook the turkey or chicken a day ahead. When using veal or beef, start with fresh meat.

Season the veal or beef with salt and pepper. Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a large frying pan. Put in the meat; add the wine, the onion, parsley, clove, thyme, mace, bay leaves, and lemon peel and 5 decilitre (2 cups) of water. Bring to a boil, then turn down the heat and let it simmer for 45 minutes to an hour. The meat should be tender. 

Remove the meat and finely chop or cut into small pieces. Strain and keep the stock.

Melt 50 grams of butter in the frying pan, stir in the flour and keep stirring for a few minutes on low heat. Slowly and gradually add the stock and cook over moderate heat, stirring until the sauce is smooth and thick. Add more flour or corn starch (maizena) or dissolved gelatin if necessary. Add 3 egg yolks (set the whites aside to use later).

Add the veal, beef, chicken or turkey, season more, if needed. Stir well. The mix should be thick and stiff by this time.

Set the mix aside to cool thoroughly. When ready, cut or separate the stiff, thick mix into rolls of about 5cm (2”) thick and about 8cm (3”) long.

On a chopping board spread out the crumbs or crumbed rusks. In a deep plate slightly beat the egg whites.

Roll the croquettes through the breadcrumbs, then through the egg whites and again through the crumbs. Make sure that the second crumbs coating is even and thick and no meat mix sticks out (this could make the croquettes burst when deep fried).

Deep fry the croquettes four or so at a time for about 4 minutes, until they are golden brown. Drain them on absorbent paper.

Serve hot, with French fries or multigrain bread or rice. Put them halved on bread. A good way to season is to slather on mustard. http://www.godutch.com/windmill/recipeItem.asp?id=89

I did indeed try mine with mustard and I must say it was delicious!

After tooling around

Dam Square

we met up with Dave’s friend Dan with whom he was to have dinner with that evening. So I said my goodbyes to my new friend and headed back towards Spuistraat to collect my bicycle. After an easy ride home I opted to bundle up and go for my first run,

Amsterdam

style. It ended up being quite the fiasco. I left my place with my mental map intact and headed towards Vondelpark. When I arrived the park was busy with countless people walking, running, and biking. Unfortunately, the sun was setting and I got slightly turned around. I ended up running for 90 minutes straight instead of the 60 like I had planned. Oy vey. Fortunately, my good sense of direction pulled through and I made it home. Upon arriving back at my place however, I crashed and began feeling slightly ill. Often at West Cliff back in

Santa Cruz

I usually jog for 80 minutes so it wasn’t the distance that freaked my body out. I think it was the cold air. I’ve thus decided all future runs for me while I’m here must therefore occur in the “heat” of the day.

Back home and slightly ill I crashed early, wanting to get plenty of rest for school the following morning.

Monday, January 9th, 2006

Waking up early and revived I got ready for school. With the sun barely yet rising I negotiated the early morning bicycle and car traffic and eventually made my way to school. My teacher is a very nice middle-aged Dutch man and the class is going to prove to be very challenging. We did the usual introductions and learned how the class would be structured. It is organized to give you just the basics for getting by here. We won’t learn much about grammar which is a shame in my mind but I suppose with only three weeks of class it has to be very basic. Moreover, I have additional resources with me to learn some of those other points along the way if I so desire or more likely if I have the time. My classmates are all very interesting. There are people from:

Korea

,

Japan

,

Romania

,

Mexico

,

Switzerland

,

Australia

,

China

,

France

,

Argentina

,

Belgium

,

Great Britain

and of course the States.

At our coffee break I conversed with a man named Ty. He is from the States but is living in The Netherlands with his boyfriend who is Japanese and was transferred here with his job at Nike. After a couple more hours, our day in the classroom ended. I rode back towards my flat to grab my passport which I needed in order to get my password for the computer center. Climbing back on my slightly too tall for me bicycle I took a different route back to the Universiteit stopping for a quick fresh herring broodje. After registering at the computer center I rode home again to spend the rest of the evening studying and writing. I finally reconnected with an old acquaintance from

St. Louis

who is living and working in Den Haag. We’re going to meet up in the weeks to come which should no doubt prove to be enjoyable. Although I treasure my solitude here it is certainly pleasant to be making friends as well. Additionally, I’m hoping Kate, my acquaintance from back home, might be able to give me some insight as to how I might make a more permanent move to The Netherlands. Only time will tell how I can manage to make it all come together. Staying in and studying I had yet another quiet night at home which is fine with me especially considering the fact I was starting to feel a little run down.

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

Waking up with just enough time to get myself together and bike to school, I somehow managed to take a slight detour enroute. Fortunately, I didn’t get too turned around and managed to make it to class on time. Today we were taught by our other teacher, a sweet yet firm thirty-something Dutch lady. The set up was the same as Maandag: computer work, group exercises, break midway through the class, etc. Afterwards I went home and got online researching jobs, etc. for foreigners in The Netherlands.

Have decided I need to come back and live here. Every time I return I think that. However, this trip has made me realize there’s no shred of doubt in my mind. I’m so damn happy here even by my lonesome self. I can’t explain it. The next big challenge is to figure out how. What am I doing? No clue. A few months ago I set a date to leave

Santa Cruz

: January 2007. I want to stick to it no matter what happens but I’m not sure that I can finagle a job here by that point in time. My online research left me feeling rather discouraged. I am thinking about going back to school but am at such a loss as to what for: international studies, graphic design, who knows. I feel I’m at a crossroads in my life as far as career junk goes and I need to just get a plan going and now. Currently my brain is wide open to lots of stuff so long as it could lead me back here. I just want to get started on it already. Blah! Good lord, sometimes I wish I just had a fairy godmother or something already! Alas, I will figure it out… somehow.

Floundering and feeling faded I eventually shut my laptop down and crashed early feeling a cold is definitely on its way. Anywho, that’s the word as I know it till now.

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Dylan here. Writing from my flat. Well, it’s official. I am a little under the weather. I’ve been popping Wellness Formula like crazy as I did at the start of my trip and managed to ward off the cold I was trying to catch from Dexter but this time I think it’s coming on whether I like it or not. I should have taken vitamins the second I got back to my house after hanging out with Dave who seemed to have his wicked cold come on overnight. Alas, I forced myself to sleep over fourteen hours last night; oy vey, I hope I can sleep tonight, and am staying in all day drinking tea, eating soup and staying warm.

I just returned from Albert Heijn for some soup and the local Turkish shop for some bread. I also got some rhubarb compote. It’s like applesauce but made with rhubarb, one of my favorite treats from the market. Today was the first day it rained since I’ve been here. And it’s cleared up by now. I thought it would be raining cats and dogs while I was here but Dave was telling me that the fall and spring are in fact the wet months. How fantastic is it my first friend is not just local but a specialized tour guide to boot. Six days here and I’ve already met a most interesting, kind and not to mention attractive guy. Gee wiz. It is unfortunate however he had that darn cold I think I’ve caught. Alas, I will hole up in my apartment today to study, write, read, clean house, catch up on my e-mails/blogs/stories, etc. We don’t have classes on Wednesdays. Ik ben Dylan. Mijn achternaam is Garner. Ik woon in

Amsterdam

. Ik kom

St. Louis

,

Missouri

. Ik ben zevenentwintig jaar.  Dutch is freaking hard but I can feel the pronunciation getting slightly easier. Slightly.

Beyond school I am loving the treats and scenery so much. Tomorrow Dave is cooking me dinner. He might take me to the countryside in a couple weekends. That is nice and exciting. I feel very calm, grounded and peaceful these days. It’s quite a change of pace from the frantically busy schedule I keep back in the Cruz. I’m just hoping my nose and throat clear up soon as I am staying in to avoid the cold weather and get better when in fact all I really want to be doing is riding around the streets, taking in all of the sights. Already feeling like my trip is slipping away.

I suppose I should roll. I have much studying and writing to still do before bedtime. Sending my love to everybody. Hopefully more stories and pictures to come as my health returns to normal. Tot ziens!

Dearest fabulous friends and family,

I have regrettably been out of touch with many of you in recent days, weeks, months, etc. Such is the nature of our often awesomely busy lives. Alas, I am finally on sabbatical and thankfully have more than a second to recap what I have been struggling with and achieving these days past. Perhaps my flood of endeavors will inspire you. I would definitely fancy hearing about your many adventures and moments of debauchery. So do tell, indeed!

I am writing these ramblings to yall from my transient apartment in the Netherlands. Somehow or another I finagled my way back to Amsterdam. Throwing caution and credit to the wind I have landed back in het Nederlands; a world of cobblestone streets, brown cafes, tulips, Van Gogh, shoarma, herring, red lights, legalized euthanasia, bicycles and multiculturalism.

For the past year I have been working as an architectural assistant for a very smart and thoughtful man. He encourages me to make diverse plans concerning all my interests in life and is whole-heartedly flexible when it comes to enabling me to realize them. Moreover, when I decided to come out to him, he barely blinked an eyelash. How lucky am I? At any rate, when I told him of my possible plans to return to Amsterdam for the month of January to partake in an intensive Dutch language course, he simply got out his calendar to mark the dates I would be away. So here I am in my hip, little and inexpensive apartment I found on Craigslist awaiting school to begin on Maandag. I decided to trek all the way across the big, cold Atlantic because ever since studying at Universiteit Leiden in 2001-2002 I have not been able to shake the thought of returning to live and work here in a more permanent fashion. That sentiment was amplified for me even further last May when five friends and I ventured to Amsterdam and spent seven long and glorious days exploring the city together only to call a charming little houseboat near Rembrantsplein home.

So here I am, alone, in this beautiful city for an entire month to learn the language and decipher just precisely where it is that I am headed. After working in architecture for a year I have determined it is not the field for me although I definitely have no intention of leaving my job anytime soon. My position is certainly the most optimal one I am going to find in Santa Cruz given my current education, skills and aspirations. I am very aware of the fact however that I am in definite need of change. I have been in Santa Cruz seven years and although my employment is presently rather ideal, I am certain it has a short shelf live for me. I’ve given myself a solid year to plan, strategize and throw caution to the wind. Only time will tell where exactly my feet will hit the ground running. Industrial, interior and graphic design interest me as thankfully yet painstakingly does an array of countless other disciplines. Someday soon I hope to figure out just what it is I want to be when I grow up. In the meantime, I elected to seize some solitude and see where these vivid visions of my life in Dutch can transport me.

There you have it; where I am and everywhere I am headed. As for wherever I’ve been the stories are both various and varied. Generally however I have been chaotic and cheerful in sunny Santa Cruz. My winter formal birthday bash, the holidays and New Years flew by far too quickly and suddenly it is 2006. Who knew? When I wasn’t party planning, traveling to San Francisco, cooking or entertaining I was relaxing- in my own frenzied fashion- and enjoying the company of all the brilliant individuals who surround me in my everyday life. Trips to the beach with the dogs, runs along West Cliff, excursions to Monterey to see classics on the Golden State Theater silver screen, presto logs pared with extraordinary company, stellar sushi dates and numerous other diversions all induced these past winter days to seem that much warmer even given the hectic tension that so often fills the air near the holidays.

Everyday, I feel overwhelmingly lucky to call the existence I inhabit my own. One of my few regrets in life, because really regret itself can be such a waste of time, is that more often that not I spread myself far too thin and don’t get to habitually communicate with all the marvelous people I’ve had the pleasure of becoming friends with in my now twenty-seven years. So with that said, I hope you enjoy my tales and pictures of living, Nederlands style. I trust everyone is enjoying a safe, amusing, healthy and intense New Year! Feel free to send me your stories. I love and miss you all.

Heartfeelings,

Dylan

Sunday, January 1st, 2006

Nathan and Veronica dropped me off at SFO at ten at night. They left their new electric heated mattress pad, new tv/dvd/vcr combo, new Netflicks subscription and two sweet and warm little doggies at home just to drive me through the pouring rain all the way to San Francisco. What sweethearts. After a heartfeelings goodbye we parted ways and I began my adventure across the Atlantic all by my lonesome self.

I was a little pooped upon arriving at SFO as the night before was New Years Eve. I had spent the holiday in Santa Cruz instead of in the city as I felt I was fighting a cold and no way was I going to be sick my first week in Amsterdam. Nonetheless, it’s New Years Eve and one still has social responsibilities. However, despite my late night escapades, the extra rest I scored coupled with the massive amounts of vitamin popping I endured in the days leading up to my trip, I somehow managed to keep my immune system relatively in check for the imminent trip. So trudging my way through check-in and security I began the first of two handsome red eyes.

Monday, January 2nd, 2006

After a four and a half hour flight I landed in Atlanta. It was 4:00am California time, 7:00am Atlanta time when we touched down. Despite my efforts I doubtfully slept more than an hour on the plane. Fortunately however some smarty pants in planning helped select airport seats sans armrests in one lonely precious gate. Bless that human being! Securing my belongings, I proceeded to sleep five hours straight of my ten and a half hour layover. Bless Benedrayl! After coming to drooling on myself and being watched by passengers who had now filled the previous empty gate I ventured towards the bright lights, overpriced and generally dreadful cuisine of the illustrious airport food court. I opted for chicken, veggies, salad and horrifyingly sweet lemonade. People and clock watching, I ate and waited. Eventually, I finished my chow and obtained my boarding pass; I had tried to acquire it earlier but they informed me as I was so early it was not yet available. I made my way to the gate, read, flapped on the phone with Veronica and Jenny and ultimately boarded the plane for my second remarkable red eye.

We took off at 2:30pm California time, 5:30pm Atlanta time, 11:00pm Amsterdam time. I ended up near the end of the plane next to a middle aged American man who was living with his wife and kids and working in Den Haag. I told him of my aspirations and he gave me some advice as to how to find work in The Netherlands. Bottom line: it’s difficult, maybe find a nice Dutch girl to marry or work for Shell (He worked for an oil company although it wasn’t Shell). Encouraged and inspired- well not really- I took his additional advice and scored two empty seats a few rows ahead. Having two seats to myself made the nearly nine hour flight bearable. However, the cheapest ticket I found in my last minute search was Delta and I now know why it was so economical compared to the rest. The plane was so old skule I thought VH1’s We Love the 70s was going to come aboard to archive it. For example, the movie experience was quite a drastic change from my last trip to Amsterdam on KLM. On that flight each person had ones own screen from which one could choose from easily forty diverse movies. This might seem a trivial detail but on a long flight details make a world of difference. At any rate, the big screen up front showing Sky High, a fine film about youth at a superhero high school, a couple interesting dozes of airplane food, several blankets and pillows plus the muscle relaxer Lisa Kirk gave me and the beauty of inhabiting two seats all by myself made those nine hours practically fly by. I slept perhaps three hours of the flight and decided maybe jet lag is simply a mind over matter kind of deal. Although, if one is going to embark upon a long flight I suggest getting ‘NO-JET-LAG’ a homeopathic remedy for travel fatigue. It is available at fine health food stores and even has a website http://nojetlag.com. Marsea gave us all some on our trip to Amsterdam last May and that was without a doubt the easiest transition I had ever experienced in crossing the Atlantic.

So finally at 11:00pm California time…

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006

8:00am Amsterdam time our plane landed at Schipol Airport. After a delay in taxiing the plane at the gate, we were finally allowed to return to the world of non-pressurized, dehydrating air. I proceeded through Passport Control where no one seemed to notice my passport still identifies me as female. Whew. And onward I went to collect my baggage. After seizing my belongings and gearing into packhorse mode I made my way through the airport, grabbed some euros at the ATM, bought a one-way ticket to Amsterdam and eventually schlepped my bags aboard the train. From Schipol Airport to Amsterdam Centraal is about fifteen minutes by train. At this point I was thinking, “Am I really freakin’ back?”

After my brief but pleasurable ride into the city I loaded up again and headed straight towards the train station lockers. Putting my bags through an x-ray machine, which is a new addition to the locker process, I became a little worried about being stopped for the needles for my testosterone shots. I think the man watching the screen had a puzzled look on his face but nevertheless let me through. So I stashed my bags and headed out into the chilly, bright morning. Walking down the Dam I made my way towards Rembrantsplein where I stopped into Le Monde to say hi to my old friend Aswaldo. After catching up and having een café I left Aswaldo in search of my new home.

I knew where my flat was from mapquesting it earlier back in the States but wasn’t going to be able to get inside until 15:00. I figured I might as well explore the neighborhood however and scout the place out. Walking south of Rembrandtsplein I become conscious of how fantastic it feels to be in the open air and walking, especially after spending over twenty-four hours either in an airport or on an airplane. Making my way to my new street, I realized I had left the actual address in my bags. So I walked the block and slyly peered into various open windows along the street. As little orphan Annie said best, “I think I’m gonna like it here”.

For the rest of the afternoon I walked the city. I stopped for some frites met mayonnaise. Warm fries in a paper cone with mayonnaise on a cold day are a true treat. Seriously. I walked the shopping streets imagining all the goodies I’d love to bring back to every soul I know back in the states. Eventually, I passed by one of my and Dexter’s favorite bars ‘The Web’. It being two in the afternoon there were but a few people inside. I had a Heineken, which is nothing like a Heineken one gets in the States. The beer here is much better. It must have something to do with the pasteurization process. I finished my beer, headed towards Centraal Station, grabbed my bags and climbed aboard tram 25. After missing my stop, having to get on another tram, getting off at the wrong stop again, walking for about ten minutes with all my baggage, I finally made it to my apartment. Ringing the bell several times I eventually realized Eymert wasn’t home just yet. Fortunately, a man has just moved in downstairs and is working on remodeling the space. I was able to borrow his cell phone. Contacting Eymert he told me he would be there in fifteen. Sitting on my stoop in the cold waiting for Eymert, again, I thought “Am I really here?” Eventually Eymert passed by and parked and we made our way up the winding staircase into my temporary abode. He showed me around, gave me the tour, collected my deposit and had me sign a month long lease. We chatted and I gave him my scoop. He told me he had wanted to learn Swedish years ago. He somehow or another ended up with a Swedish boyfriend, they only spoke Swedish at home and now he’s fluent. I’d say that’s one fine way of learning a language.

After awhile Eymert left and I tooled around my new home. The flat belongs to a dancer. She is on tour in region Brazil. Eymert and she are close friends. Ingrid- the dancer- is messier than I but seems an interesting soul.

Tired and hungry I wandered down the street towards a shoarma grill and ended up eating kip filet (chicken) for dinner. Satiated and sleepy I headed home at nearly 19:00 Amsterdam time to crash in my new, quiet and peaceful little home.

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006

It’s three o’clock in the afternoon or 15:00 as they say here and I’m ready for a nap. I think the cold North Sea air is supplementing my jet lag. A few days and I’ll no doubt be back on schedule. I got up at six-thirty this morning. On my own! I waited a good forty-five minutes before visions of warm coffee and tasty treats overwhelmed my senses and persuaded me out from under the cozy haven of my down comforter.  Not sure of when the markets open, I putzed around the apartment for a spell. The thought of bundling up, venturing out and being denied was not an experience I wanted to live that early in the morning. Thus, unpacking my bags I found a place for everything so that everything is in its place in my funky, multi-colored, temporary abode.

I forgot how quiet ones existence is in a foreign realm. At least at first.  I’ve most likely uttered fewer than a dozen sentences today whereas at home I’d have spoken that well before breakfast. I had forgotten this quiet solitaire space. Often lonely but always worth it.

Transforming ones surroundings to feel more like home is thus fundamental in such said situations. A little tidying, a little beautification, and a few of my other favorite things equals an apartment that feels somewhat more like where I should be.

After an hour of sheveling, I ventured out to the market. I carefully studied an unknown route before leaving but opted to not depart with the map. Without question the optimum means to become familiar with a place is by getting lost. I know much of Amsterdam like the back of my hand. This fact is unquestionably a result from getting lost time and time again three years ago. However, my new neighborhood is farther south of the city center. New ground.

They are doing construction downstairs. It is loud.  But at least it might deter me from taking that nap. Oy vey!

So with my mental map folded and ready I set off to explore the neighborhood and acquire groceries. I walked for about forty minutes. Right on Van Woustraat. Left on Tweede Jan Steenstraat. Right on Ferdinand Bolstraat which turns into Weteringlaan which turns into Vijzelgracht. The morning air was chilly and brisk but bearable. I passed numerous markets; a few of the well known ‘Albert Heijn’ chains as well as countless independent Turkish and Surnames stores. None of the shops drew me in. I was too excited to simply be out, walking, enjoying the bright morning sans rain without any formal agenda. Eventually the cold air and walking took hold and I realized how hungry I was. I headed back towards my place via Albert Cuypstraat. The entire length of this street is an open air market that transpires year round. One can purchase fresh fish, stockings, jackets, frites met mayonnaise, fo-fur, shoes and of course tulips amongst countless other goods. However, overwhelmed by Albert Cuypstraat I ended up buying groceries a couple blocks from my apartment at an independent Turkish store.

I only purchased a couple basics and the ingredients to ‘menemen’ my favorite Turkish breakfast Sylvia taught me how to make when I was here in 2000. Trekking home I proceeded to make menemen.

Menemen (Turkish Scrambled Eggs)    

Ingredients: 1 Onion, 4 Tomatoes, 4 Green hot peppers, 5 tbsp. Butter, 8 Eggs, Salt, Pepper, 1tsp. Mild paprika powder

Chop the onion finely. Cut a cross in the top of the tomatoes and put them in hot water. Remove the skins. Cut the tomatoes into small pieces. Wash the peppers and cut them into very small rings. Heat the butter in a big skillet. Sautee the onion until soft, then add peppers and tomatoes and fry for another 2 to 3 minutes. Beat the eggs with salt and pepper and paprika powder. Pour mixture over vegetables. Keep stirring with a fork until set. (Serve on nice fresh homemade or -of course- Turkish bread). Be careful with the peppers. Peppers used here are the Turkish kind, a cross between paprika’s and hot peppers. Remove the seeds to make them less hot.

(http://www.recipesource.com/ethnic/africa/middle-east/turkish/00/rec0010.html)

After enjoying my menemen and taking a reading break I ventured out again into the bright and crisp day. One of my first aims for the afternoon was to locate an adaptor for my laptop. I failed to realize the one I bought back in California only works for two pronged plugs, not three like the one on my computer. I ended up at a store down the street from my flat where the salesman directed me across town. After hopping on a tram and making my way to the store I obtained the right adaptor. Success. Bundled up and ready, I perused the streets and shops without direction. Ultimately, I ended up near Centraal Station where I fought the hustle and bustle crowds and dashed into the WC. It was here that Joe, my travel companion, informed me it was photo shoot time. I’ve neglected to mention Joe thus far as although we are staying here together we more often than not are enthralled in our own independent worlds. Joe, formally known as ‘Government Issue’ stowed away in my luggage unbeknownst to me. He simply needed to get away… “taste the air of foreign land, see the sights of unfamiliar terrain and touch the exotic and magical world that lies waiting before me”… his own words. Thus, although we are both on our own sabbaticals, we like to occasionally hang out together, especially if it involves a photo shoot.

So after a Vogue like fashion shoot with Joe we hopped on a tram and headed back to our hood. After a couple of days of inquiries around town regarding bike rentals I was repeatedly directed towards a chain called MacBike. However, all the bikes from this shop are red and have giant MacBike logos on the handlebars screaming tourist from many meters away. To therefore attempt to blend in better I asked folks at the bike shops in my neighborhood for suggestions as to where else I might locate an inexpensive bicycle.

I ended up at a local shop and got a great deal on a bike; the best way to get around in the city. So after test riding my new wheels for awhile, I headed to Albert Heijn for some last minute groceries and then worked my way back home. For the rest of the evening I fiddled around on the computer and fought the urge to go to sleep before 22:00.

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

It’s five in the morning and I just woke up. Going back to sleep is useless. It’s not gonna happen. Instead, I’m up and figuring out the day. Nothing like a ‘thing to do’ list makes an early morning brighter.

Twelve hours later and this laptop has become my new best friend. I feel like a mad scientist but am determined to get to a decent place of being caught up with my ridiculously dusty yahoo inbox. My mom sent me her memoirs from her trip on the Queen Mary 2 June 24th, 2004. I finally had the privilege of enjoying them. Better late than never has apparently become one of my recent mantras. At any rate, I promised myself I would take a break today and go for a bike ride however the obsessive compulsive in me just kept going and going and going.

Eventually, mind numbing delirium set in and I took a short break to go to the market. I think that’s one of my favorite aspects of living here and the same could be said of many places around the globe; that is, going to the store and only buying goods you need in the short term instead of stocking up and overloading. Hooray for the small scale and freshness. I love marketing although it is so strange to feel so out of it when I’m out and about in Local Land; my neighborhood is not in Tourist Centraal. Everywhere I go people assume I am Dutch and therefore obviously start speaking Nederlands to me. Next comes the moment where I out myself as a foreigner, speak in broken Nederlands and smile shyly.

Hopefully, beginning on Maandag at least I’ll perhaps be slightly more grounded with the language. My tapes and the cd Vnes made for me help but I’m positively tickled pink to be going to school for Nederlands!

So after a brief jaunt into the outside world I returned to my crazed stance behind the computer screen with but a momentary breather to down some herring met raw onions. Mmmmm. Dutch specialty. Sooner or later I whittled my inbox down to nearly nothing and updated my address books in preparation of commencing with such overdue correspondence. Once again I fought the urge to crash before 22:00 and succeeded!

Friday, January 6th, 2006

Today I slept in. I got up at 6:30am ready for a new day. After getting gussied up I left my apartment and trammed it to Centraal Station for a phone card and a strippenkaart, which is, in essence, many prepaid tram tickets. After acquiring my goods I walked down the Dam in search of a post office to mail off the letter I composed to my mom’s friend who lives in RotterdamShe’s American but has lived in The Netherlands for the past twenty years. I am hoping to meet up with her and see if she has any useful advice for me and my ambitions.

Along the way I stopped and attempted to call back home. I got through to some folks, not to others and of course the credit ran out far too quickly. I also stopped by a small shop for a mini cappuccino and kaas broodje. Cheese sandwiches are a national favorite. By this point it was nearly 8:30am and the sky was just beginning to turn from dark black to a beautiful deep blue. Officially, the sun rises here at 8:50am and sets at 16:45 (4:45pm) at this time of year. Joe and I just had to stop for a photo op.

Continuing on my merry way I eventually found the post office although I had to wait outside for a good ten minutes before they opened. Perfect timing for another photo shoot. For these shots Joe and I posed together. You would think Dutch people had never seen this kind of big guy-little guy friendship before. At any rate, I eventually got all my necessary business taken care of at the post office and resumed my hike back in the direction of my neighborhood. Most everything was still closed at this point. It’s surprising how short the workday seems here. Perhaps it fluctuates with the seasons and daylight hours. Or maybe like most cultures in contrast to life in the States a 30 hour work week versus 60 or even 80 hours yields the best all around results. Who knows?

I took the long way back and did a lot of walking, window shopping and watching. Eventually I made it back to my pad for some lunch, reading and writing. And like that you all have been brought up to speed. Therefore, I believe it is indeed time to send off my rambling travel blog or dare I say log and carry on to attain even more adventures to write of at later date. Success and stay tuned!